tuesday, april 25th 2023

it’s day twelve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if u didn’t see an entry yesterday.. yes u did.. what r u talking about..

am i good at gaslighting or what!!!!!!!!!! anyways. i was feeling extra silly yesterday or something because i forgot to update and git commit or whatever. will not happen again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have never said that in my entire life.

ok. so i also didn’t get much done today. or maybe even at all. and i know what u r thinking.. again..

yes!! since i have more time on my hands now.. the possibilities almost seem endless. which is great except!! decision paralysis is not so great. so today i took up the gruelling task of thinking about what i want to do next. AND thinking about responding to emails. (also did my taxes.. go me..)

and right before i was about to end off this entry. the idea came to me!! i will be revamping because guess who needs to be more accountable?? me!!!!! already have some ideas. i might sketch them out or something tomorrow and flesh them out and put them here once i have something tangible to share. i know this is nothing major or complicated or anything but i am feeling EXCITED!!!!!! life is so good like that.

the current state of the site.. u even could say v1.. am i a dev yet..

and before i forget!!! wanted to shout out katherine.. somehow did not add her to my little horribly padded footer when i first created this website. and basically i am the worst. a bit of backstory even though no one cares. but u should care!! because she is the one of the most brilliant and genuine people u or i will ever know!!!!!!

met her Super Serendipitously last summer at this fancy interact symposium sort of thing (thank u so much weiwei for the invite!!!!!) where i basically didn't know anyone. and also had like zero major social interactions since the beginning of the pandemic. and also i think i am probably just bad at existing in big social situations in general. anyways!!

we somehow started talking and she basically ended up taking me under her wing for the rest of the weekend.. which she obviously didn’t have to do!! but she did it like it was nothing!! and she introduced me to all her insanely cool friends and i got to attend all these amazing events and write (really bad) poetry for the first time on a roof.. and i don't know.. not to sound lame but it was maybe one of the best weekends of my life.. everyone i got to meet there was so inspiring and interesting and everything i could ever aspire to be and like. the passion and energy was palpable. i maybe get the concept of canned air now.. because if i could bottle that up and keep breathing it in forever!! what a life that would be!!

with all that being said.. i would never have had all these interactions and experiences if she hadn’t been the wonderful lovely radiant person she is. i continue to take a lot of inspiration from what i got to experience and see and feel in those few days (and also her work!! man!! i only ended up finding it after and oh my god..) it’s just so incredibly nice to think that there are people like her on the internet because it does feel a bit unreal and distant at times. makes me want to do more!! and love more!! and give more!! and be more!!

ok one more thing we are just going to ignore the whole freecodecamp daily module for a little bit please and thank u hehe byeee